Re-emerging

Drift (Talismans for the soul)

The door is open…

The gate too…

Still drifting here in the space between…

One foot inside the threshold, the other out…

Why am I not moving?

Everything, absolutely everything… needs to be done yesterday.

While everyone tries to clamber their “normal” back

Into lives and a world that has already shifted

From where we left off, before disrupted.
Is “normal” somewhere  I need to be?
Was I there before?
A friend suggests ” I’m that age now”… like this is a secret code about
Not knowing anything about anything anymore …

As if age makes you incapable of unlearning”…

Is that where normal is and where I should return to?

Now?… right now, I want to be still and quiet

I need to be… still and quiet

But ‘normal”  asks me to return … to be productive and recover

Produce and return,

Re-emerge…

From what ? … did something stop?

I feel like I’ve been on forever…

Always on but maybe not on the right channel

… produce and return?

My making isn’t for production,

It’s for being…and becoming

It’s for drifting between until something emerges…something comes

To  unlearn, listen and discover…

To speak … sometimes in half completed sentences

To manifest then dissolve… repeat…

To hear …words in my ears  that I can’t form into sounds in my mouth
Ssssssssssssss… ssssssshhhhhhh
Sometimes I speak and it’s all shit I don’t believe and it goes unnoticed…
Maybe that is when I return to normal?…
Ssshhhhhh…

Close the door.
Listen.

She’s singing … “give me the beat girl to free my soul I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away”

Eyes closed… one foot on the threshold

Drift in between…

Be…

Become…

Re-emerge…
Repeat.